Riddle me this, Detective
by kusari-de
Summary: Detective Brand, loving husband and father of a 10-year-old girl, met the Riddler on his way back home at night. He was forced to answer five riddles in sake of his life, but when names got mentioned he even had to worry about his daughter. (no pair / IC as good as possible / OS /) I don't own the notable things (such as characters, buildings and so on) of the Batman universe


**Riddle me this, Detective**

It was a dark and foggy night in Gotham. Detective Brand was walking home after work to his wife and 10-year-old baby girl, Alice. Being a police man has never been an easy and safe job, but it made him proud to be a protector of Gotham's citizens. Unlike most of his colleagues, he liked the obvious help of their caped crusader. Though he never had the opportunity to meet Batman in person, he was thankful for his work.

He wasn't afraid of walking home in night times, but the many dark alleys he had to pass made him feel a bit uneasy. Outwardly he seemed to be very relaxed, but only to average people's eyes. His hand held the butt of his gun and his eyes searched the surroundings for any movements. Only three streets more until home, he thought to himself. Fortunately they didn't have to live in the narrows, he wouldn't want to raise a kid in such an environment.

"What is easy to get into, but hard to get out of?" The voice made Detective Brand stop in his movements. He turned to the alley he just passed, but he couldn't see anyone. Then he heard footsteps and the owner of the voice stepped into the faint light of the nearby lantern, the Detective froze in his position.

Expensive looking black leather shoes under a just as expensive green suit, and a purple tie with a black question mark on it over a black shirt. Under the green bowler hat with the black question mark you could see his short brown hair, and that he wore violet gloves and glasses. The most significant of his accessories, though, was his golden cane shaped like a question mark. Detective Brand knew immediately who was in front of him. Like his colleagues, he had to memorize the rogues of Gotham for one of his tests. There was no doubt that this man was the Riddler. An evil mastermind who broke out of Arkham together with the Mad Hatter and Two-Face a month ago. No one has heard anything of them since, so apparently they were planning something big.

The Riddler leaned in his typical way on the cane and grinned his sinister smile. "What's wrong, Detective? Did you forget how to speak?" He took a step closer to the police man and folded his hands on the top of his cane. "Answer my riddle, Max. I thought you were smarter than the others of your unit." For a brief moment the Detective thought about using his gun, but he was also sure that he wouldn't hit the Riddler. He was not by far physically intimidating, but very agile and observing. He would just sidestep the shot and attack him with his cane. He was indeed in trouble. Then he blinked in realization. The answer to the Riddler's question was "trouble", easy to get into but hard to get out of.

"Trouble?", he mumbles which made his opposite frown.

"Excuse me but was that a question, Detective?"

Max shook his head to sort his thoughts. "It's trouble! The answer to the riddle is trouble", he spoke again.

"Excellent", the Riddler said in a happy tone and clasped his hands while still holding the cane. "You've got the right answer. Well, it could also be a trap." Then he became serious again. "Whatever answer you choose, consider yourself in it right now." After this Detective Brand felt a sharp pain on his head before he fell unconscious to ground.

The first thing Detective Brand noticed when he woke up was the headache and shortly after that he neither lied on the ground nor did his feet even touch it. He was pinned to a wall with metallic rings around his ankles, wrists and waist. He looked up and saw that he was in some sort of old factory hall. Dirt and dust were everywhere and covered the ground and some old machines. He couldn't tell how big this hall was, as there was only one light bulb up above that was turned on. Maybe the other ones were broken, he couldn't tell. He groaned under the pain on his hands and head. "Good morning, Detective. Or shall I say "Good evening", given the time." The Riddler came into view and looked him knowingly in the eyes.

"What do you want, Riddler? Do you want the Batman to come and save me so that you can test him with some sort of stupid riddles?"

A dark chuckle left the rogue's throat. "Not this time, it's rather you I want to test. Like I said, you seem to be more intelligent than the rest of your unit." Another wave of pain went through Max' head, which made him close his eyes. "I must apologize for my personal most favorite DA of Gotham. He can be pretty rough at times", he continues with feigned friendliness. Detective Brand coughed and looked at the man in the green suit, who leaned his cane on a small wooden table before he took the gun from the same furniture. Max' facial expression went blank, his heartbeat increased and his eyes widened in horror. He wanted to say something but his mouth seemed dry as a dessert so he just breathed heavily. "What about a game, Max?", Edward said calmly and it looked like he was deep in his thoughts. A feral grin on his face, the eyes fixed on the gun and his hand stroke tenderly over the barrel.

All of a sudden he turned to the Detective, the gun in his right hand and an arrogant grin spread on his face. "The rules", he started again and stepped in front of the man on the wall. "You have to answer five riddles, for every wrong answer I'll shoot you in your hands and feet. The last one will be a shot to your chest. A right answer will spare you one shot. Understand?"

Max gnashed his teeth, though he wondered why the last answer wouldn't be for his head. But he's not so stupid to ask that. "You bastard, you won't get away with this", he yells which made Edward chuckle even more.

"Apparently I will, brave man. Understand the rules?" His green eyes pierced into Max' blue ones.

"You can't make me play your sick little mind games. So just kill me", he retorted.

The Riddler sighed, turned around and walked some steps away. "No I can't, but", he stopped and looked into the darkness before him. "old Jervis would be pleased to hear where he could find a new Alice." Then he turned to Max again and gave him a questioning look. "Isn't it true that your kid has blonde hair and blue eyes? And sheesh, you even named her Alice", an evil smile spread across his face. "Maybe I should go and see him then. You can hang around here, make yourself comfortable, Detective."

Max froze in shock as the Riddler made his way out of the light. "You son of a bitch", he muttered. "Wait! I'll play your game." Edward came back and looked at the cop in anticipation. "Excellent, well let's start with an easy one." He walked in the middle. "Riddle me this: There was a plane crash. Every single person on the plane died, except for two. How?" He enjoyed how Max' eyes searched the ground while trying to solve this riddle. Meanwhile he plays with the gun in his hand. "Tick tock, the clock is ticking, Max. Don't disappoint me!" Max repeated the riddle in his mind. Every single person, single person … two survived, two … a couple, that's it! "It's a couple", he answered and watched the Riddler pointing the gun to the ground.

"You're right, Detective. That makes 10 points on your account! Your right hand is safe, but what about your right foot?"

Max gulped, relieved that he got this right, but it was just the first of five he had to solve. He wasn't a gamer nor did he the crosswords in the Gotham Gazette. "Shall we move on? Good. Now riddle me this: I make you weak at the worst of all times. I keep you safe, I keep you fine. I make your hands sweat and your heart grow cold, I visit the weak and seldom the bold. What am I?" Max grinds his teeth. What the hell makes me weak and saves me at the same time? The noise of a ticking clock that the Riddler made wasn't helping either. "Time's running short, Max. Five seconds left!" Edward started counting and Max' mind raced until a loud bang made them stop. Detective Brand screamed in pain as the bullet hit flesh and bones of his right foot. Blood tripped to the ground and Edward shook his head in disappointment. "It's obviously fear. The same fear you felt when I mentioned your brat."

Max coughed in pain. "You bastard!"

"Nah, nah you're repeating yourself. A lack of words I assume." Edward held up his finger as you did it with kids.

Max grunts, annoyed "Just ask your next damn question."

The Riddler sighed. "It's a riddle, a riddle! Why is that so hard to get?" He shook his head and looked up with a quizzical look in his eyes. "Riddle me this: I can trap many different things and colors, ever changing, not boring. Look closely and you may find yourself also caught in my trap. What am I Detective?" Max tried to concentrate and pushing the pain aside. It can't be a moving helix that mesmerizes you. It just wouldn't work with objects. They can't look just be reflected, yes of course.

"A reflection. Like in water." The Riddler seemed deep in his thoughts, which made Max even more nervous.

"I'm in a good mood, I'll let that pass. I was actually thinking of mirror but a reflection in the water is fine as well." Max sighed in relief, then he heard the amused snicker of his green-liking enemy. "Consider your left foot as safe. At least, if you survive this, you can hobble out on one leg. After all I'm a man of my word. Which reminds me; you just got another ten points on your account, which makes a total of twenty. Congratulation, Detective!"

For a short time it was silent in the hall, except for the rhythmical dripping of the blood from Max' wound. He tried to control his breath to make this more endurable. Just as he wanted to force the Riddler to move on with his sick games, he heard the next challenge. "Tell me Max, do you use your left hand often? If so you'd better answer the next one right." Edward chuckled and continued. "Riddle me this: My head and tail are both equal. My middle slender as a bee. Whether I stand on head or heels, quite the same to you or me. But if my head should be cut off, the matter's true though passing strange. Directly to nothing I change. What am I?" Edward walked up and down in front of the Detective, without missing one single change in the look of Max' eyes. He loved the power he possessed over his victims' minds, he was perfectly aware that none of these imbecile subjects would be able to keep up with his brilliant intellect. Detective Brand's mind seemed completely blocked, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't figure it out. An hourglass was what came to his mind first, but it wouldn't be nothing after cutting its head off. Again the Riddler imitated the ticking of a clock. "I'll give you eight seconds, Detective. Remind your left hand!" Max' heartbeat fastened and his breaths became shorter and again it was a loud bang that ended all thoughts. A blood-curdling scream broke the silence. Tears ran down the face of the police man, he could just imagine the Riddler coming near him. "Oh Max", he started, "I even gave you a last hint. It was obviously the number eight. You see it's round on both ends no matter which way you turn it. Cut one off and you'll get the number zero, ergo nothing", he told him in way only a snobby teacher, who pretended to know everything, would do it.

Max closed his eyes in pain; he gritted his teeth and concentrated on his breath. Suddenly he felt the barrel of the gun on his chest and the Riddler standing close to him; enjoying this sick game of minds. "Are you ready for the last shot, Detective. I must say I do really like our time here." He pulled away the gun and took a step back. "Concentration please. Riddle me this: It cannot be seen, it cannot be felt, cannot be smelt. Lies behind the stars and under hills and empty holes it fills. Comes first follows after. Ends life kills laughter. What is it?" Max coughed a few times and bit his lip. He heard that before, he had seen this, maybe even read the answer in a book or somewhere else. He just needs to remember. Behind stars, ends life … darkness!

"The answer is darkness", he said in a weak, beaten tone.

Edward looked at him without any emotions. He put the gun to Max' chest and sighed resigned. "You have no idea how much I'd like to pull the trigger, but you're right. That makes a final score of thirty points. Well done!" Then he put the gun away and went back to the table. Max who held his breath stared at the Riddler in shock. He survived, he was in pain but he survived. He watched Edward who placed his hand on a small button on the table. "I told you, I'm a man of my word. So you are free to go!"

By pressing the button Max were released, he fell to the ground and landed on his feet. Thanks to the wound and the sudden pressure he lost the balance and fell to his knees. He held up his left hand and tried to stand up on his healthy foot. Securing himself on the wall he just hang on he made it to stand tall. "I'm impressed, Detective. I wouldn't have thought you'd make it up."

Max looked at him with nothing but hate in his eyes. "You will pay for this, you sick son of a bitch!"

The Riddler sighed theatrically. "You did it again, always repeating yourself. You should start to read, it'll open your horizon." Max just tried to make his way to the exit, which was behind the wall. He could see the light signal in the dark. Just before he could open the door, he heard again the voice of the green-suited maniac. "What about a last riddle, just for fun? Come on, Max you have nothing to lose anymore." Max turned around.

"Only if you turn yourself in when I'm right."

The Riddler grinned his sinister smile. "Of course. Now riddle me this, Detective: What is a person's greatest asset?"

Max thought for a while, he wanted to get this one right, he was so much in his thoughts that he didn't notice that the Riddler came closer and was now right in front of him. "Time is up, Detective!", he stated and pointed the gun at Max' head, who needed a moment to realize. "It's intelligence, Max. Something you definitely lack!" The next thing that could be heard was a third bang in the night and the sound of a body falling to the ground.

The Riddler sighed and put the gun in his jacket. That was indeed fun, but now he had to get back to work out the plan he made with Harvey and Jervis. He sent a short message to one of his thugs so that he could take care of the dead body. Edward didn't like to have thugs, co-workers or anything like that around him. Mostly they were pissing him off, which meant he needed new ones very often. Sometimes they even ended up in one of his death traps as experiments. Edward left through the back door and got in his car, on his way to their meeting point, he thought about Max Brand. Maybe he should really tell Jervis where he could find an actual Alice. He would have to see what the Mad Hatter had to offer first.


End file.
